Thursday, April 03, 2008

Seinfeld in accident!

True, true... news comes forth that Jerry Seinfeld driving a 1967 FIAT had a failure of the braking system (surprised? Not really...) and flipped over as he was approaching an intersection grabbing the emergency brake to no avail. He was alone at the time, Saturday night and the accident happened in East Hampton Long Island New York.

An on the spot report of the FIAT tragedy was sent in by noted British used car 'expert' Carcoat Damphands who was on vacation in the States at the time and made his way from Manhattan out to the Hamptons for brunch with alleged 'friends' Sunday morning...

"Bleety! The very crumblies of the soggy eggies and veggies on the plate were a sharpshard of tasty noshies. Friends of Dampies sipped slappy fizzy chams with Yank bangers. Talk of porker flogger Seinfeld's flippy trip night last brought fast fun trummy bum laughs. No shock as FIAT brakies are gareth at speed. Night work is unbecoming and the Italian special `67 BTM was a real noggler to the unencumbered biscuit gripper! We had a belfursh blush at that quiet claim of samsteenism, at best a nardy tipsy bank shot off the motorway flexy pipes. More fizzies and another wet bagel messy sack of wast-leaf. Semi-minty, firm and tufted like Connolly in dapper British racing green, left a smidge of shmear as we piped the birds off to the shoppies with doggies and pram pushers aloft to the Hampton scrapies. Puffy must preen the miffed dollypops as his rappies are a shambles. Simply moist for them to regard as a natch-match made in rooster cack. So along comes a peepers type from the briny froth claiming he viddied the Dago crash aftershock, bits of bumper bites and metal frags permeated the undergrowth of the area as the Bobbies pretreated the tarmac to conceal the reperswigs and Bathurstoki gobbies. I had a snicker and a glam puff at the describe. Jerry sings to the radio as he plies the tyres over the meander poppy areas underneath, dig? Can't fasten the hatcher fast and pedal shake indicates a lump nod, panic poster as he grips the e-brake lever, crackles of pasto as the wet noodle brakies sunder his britches. Flash of fellow porker flogger James Dean in ghostly miasma and ectoplasm. A fast turn to avoid shackles in his face at the grippy pike poker. Me thinks he had a crass Jackson moment of clarity and lucidity as his breefy-conny comedy life flashies before his wonkers. Egads! Could have been the last showboat for the Jerry bullyboy. Sharp. Quincey. Pricey. Back to the snoggle chow and we are off for the tight turn slippy drifty compact Merc in the car park."

Huh? That guy is nuts...

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