What Would Jesus Shoot? .223? .308? Something bigger maybe?

Watching Michael Moore’s “Bowling for Columbine” for the dozenth time, (IS dozenth a word? Hmmm... Well now it is!) I realized there is no gun group for Leftists. That’s right, with a capital L! Despite Michael Moore being a lifetime member of the NRA, they just do not represent my enlightened viewpoint on the “right to bear arms”. That’s right, in quotation marks!

My gun rights group welcomes all of those not welcome at the NRA. Communists, Socialists, Anarchists and even, Agnostics and Atheists! As a last resort we reserve the right to defend ourselves and fight fire with fire. While our well-trained boys are overseas as part of that USA Freedom & Liberty Foreign Adventure Corps, we need to fill in here at home with the B-team to help protect us from ourselves and anyone else who would be crazy enough to try anything. (see next blog entry re: Torturing the Mentally Ill at Gitmo)

My gun rights group has homosexuals concerned about fending off fag-bashers and American Indians pissed off about the imprisonment of Leonard Peltier, their hearts buried at Wounded Knee along with pre-ban Armalite AR-15 assault rifles with the auto sears all packed in grease inside sealed plastic bags. The gun rights group I belong to has a logo decal with a rampant eagle with a sawed-off shotgun in her razor sharp talons and rainbow bunting encircling her glorious wings. That decal is displayed on my bio-diesel powered Benzo that used to be a hoopty but morphed into a real dope rizzy when I bought it off of that ex-hippy (who moved to B.C. to grow herbs for the Baker’s Supply Company) and painted it black suede primer with natty Von Dutch pinstriping.

That guy should get a piece and join up, no dues, no rules, just the knowledge that there are armed radical militant lefties running around just itching for a fight should do the trick on those wishing to harm us, now or in the near future. We let in all types, regardless of orientation or occidentation. We can assemble peaceably and defend abortion clinics from those pesky religious extremists if they act up. And speaking of those pesky religious extremists, both foreign AND domestic, our pal Jesus has a .50 caliber surprise awaiting them in the afterlife, for he who lives by the sword will most certainly die by the sword, so remember to bring your body armor.

So, as much as I appreciate the Green Party and folks of their ilk, all that non-violence stuff sort of keeps them from being taken seriously by The Establishment as a true force. “True force, all the King’s men cannot put it back together again.” - Travis Bickle, “Taxi Driver” So what if we induct some sketchy characters into our Hall of Fame... like Arthur Bremer for his keeping George Wallace from losing to George McGovern in the 1972 election, remember he stalked Nixon first! Face it folks, in this new post-911 world, we NEED the target practice! Lefties can’t really shoot straight, or can they?